none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Can I color on your dick again?
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
