I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
