no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
