May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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