Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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