What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
