I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
