I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
