Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
