dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You took a bar mat shot.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
