with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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