We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize