do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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