And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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