4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
