I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
