Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
