I just made out with a guy for $7.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
