best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
