New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
