Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

did you know it's going to storm tonight?

(630): View more from Illinois

You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.

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(678): View more from Georgia

So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.

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(714): View more from California

So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized

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