batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
