thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
