Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
