Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
