Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
