You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
