If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
