i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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