he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
