I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
