It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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