sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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