you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
