2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
