ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
