I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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