It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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