No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
