he shaved USA in his pubs
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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