do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
