Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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