im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
50% drunk capacity currently
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Randomize
