But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Non-Jews are for practice
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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