you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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