My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
