she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I forgot how hot balto sounded
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize