we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
