Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
