im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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