I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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