I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
