I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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