girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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