What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We're too hungover to prance.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
