I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My dick has a subreddit
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
