so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
