Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
