Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
