He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
