Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
