Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
