Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
