Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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