I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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